


Leather

by LEDbiantastic



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Break Up, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:40:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25500763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LEDbiantastic/pseuds/LEDbiantastic
Summary: How and why did Tara end up with two leather jackets when they don't seem like her usual style?
Relationships: Tara Maclay/Willow Rosenberg
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	Leather

**Author's Note:**

> This short piece came about when I responded to a tweet by @Slayerfestx98 of Tara in her leather jacket. I said that I had a headcanon that she went out and bought a leather jacket after the breakup to feel tough, and @Slayerfestx98 pointed out that she had one in the beginning of Season 6 episode 1, Bargaining.

Leather

Tara ran her hand down the back of the jacket and felt the friction stop her fingers from sliding. A couple of days ago she and Willow had pulled one just like this from Buffy’s closet for the Buffybot to wear. It still felt wrong to be going through Buffy’s closet for clothes, but the local vampires and demons had to be convinced that Buffy was still alive. The past few months had involved a lot more fighting than Tara was comfortable with, and she felt entirely out of her element. She wanted to feel tougher, she wanted to feel like someone who could fight monsters and protect her friends and her town. She wanted to feel a little more like Buffy.

She slid the jacket off the rack and pushed her arms into the sleeves one at a time. Shrugging it onto her shoulders, she looked around the thrift store for a mirror. She stood before it and twisted side to side, checking the fit. She crossed her arms, squared her shoulders, and tried not to look like she was posing. It felt a little silly, especially being there by herself, but when she glanced in the mirror she liked what she saw. She looked tough. Well, tougher, at least. Yes, this is the one. She slid the jacket off her shoulders and checked the price tag. It was doable, and for such a nice jacket it was really a bargain. Folding it over her forearm, Tara walked up to the counter to pay.

The saleswoman smiled at her, and Tara blushed, ducking her head.

“Red leather, nice choice.” She said conversationally.

“Th-th-thanks.” Tara stuttered quietly, grabbing her receipt and hurrying out the door.

Tara ran a few more errands on her way home and returned with a paper bag of groceries, a paper bag of magic supplies, and a plastic bag of a new, used, red leather jacket.

“Dawnie?” She called when she walked in the door, “Will you please put the groceries away?”

Dawn came around the corner from the kitchen and took the grocery bag from her hand. “Sure muh—… Tara.”

Tara heard the stumble in Dawn’s voice. Dawn had accidentally called her “mom” several times since she and Willow moved in to Joyce’s bedroom. Tara had always hoped to be a mother someday, and teach her children about magic and balance and respect for nature. It made her feel a small warm glow when that happened, but Tara felt guilty. Dawn had lost her whole family in just a few months, and she was still grieving. How could she feel happy when Dawn accidentally called her mom?

As she carried the other two bags up the stairs, Tara’s thoughts migrated with her to the other member of this three person family. Willow had been intense lately, trying to find a way to change how things are. Tara thought not for the first time, what if it just stayed like this? What if she and her love raised Dawn as their own and lived here and just made a family? What if they grieved their losses and healed, creating something new to soften the jagged holes in their hearts?

Up in their room, Willow sat on the bed with eight books lying open in a semicircle around her. Tara knew that a few were spellbooks, a few were magical theory books, and at least one was a quantum physics book about multiverse theory. Willow’s aura was the same mass of red and black stormclouds. Tara sighed. The only thing holding Willow’s grief at bay was her single-minded search for a ritual or spell to undo Buffy’s death.

Part of Tara wanted Willow to succeed. She was so afraid of what it would be like to keep protecting Sunnydale—and the world—from the Hellmouth without the Slayer. And she knew that no matter how hard they tried, eventually word of Buffy’s passing would spread among the monsters. But bringing people back from the dead was long-forbidden magic, and Tara knew it was with good reason. Messing with the world’s natural forces that much would surely have dire consequences. And moreover, Tara was worried about what it would do to Willow. The ability to hold power over death itself was about as far as you could go towards asserting control over all of creation. The potential for corruption would be high. Would Willow still be _her Willow_ after?

So the other half of Tara hoped it would fail. Then maybe Willow would unblock her grief and let Tara help her work through it. It would be hard. Based on what Tara could see in Willow’s aura, her grief would be terrible. But so was Tara’s when her mother died, and eventually she had come to a place of acceptance. Tara had a healthy respect for balance instilled in her by her mother, and she would never have sullied her mother’s memory with an attempt to upend that balance.

Tara sighed again.

Willow looked up. “Tara.” She smiled.

Tara couldn’t help smiling back. She couldn’t deny that she really respected a healthy work ethic. “Hey sweetie, I just went shopping. Dawn’s unpacking the groceries downstairs, and I brought you this.” She passed Willow the bag from the Magic Box.

“Ooh, goodie!” Willow grinned and started looking through the items in the bag.

“I, uh, also bought this. For patrolling.” Tara blushed and pulled out the jacket.

Willow’s eyes lit up even more. “That looks cool. Put it on!”

Tara smiled and shrugged into the jacket.

“Badass.” Willow said with a smirk. She pushed two books out of the way and slid off the side of the bed, stepping to Tara and giving her a kiss.

As usual, Willow’s kiss bolstered something in her. “If you think it looks badass now, wait ‘til you see me with an ax.” She quipped.

“It’s a date! I’ll take you out, say, tonight at sunset?” Willow responded.

Tara laughed and leaned in for another kiss.

* * *

Tara stepped into the thrift store and sighed. Other than sacred natural sites, thrift stores were where she felt her mother’s presence most. It was in this kind of place that Tara’s mother taught her how to recognize good fit, how to tell if something will last, and that if the shoe fits sometimes you ignore that it’s ugly. Every shirt, pair of pants, and skirt that Tara wore and altered and wore and patched and re-seamed came from a thrift store.

Most importantly, this was one of the few places in Sunnydale that didn’t remind Tara of Willow. Willow and Buffy went shopping at the mall and bought things new. Tara had never been able to do that.

She browsed the racks, unsure what she was looking for. She’d come in here mostly to get away from her memories. They were still fresh wounds. The betrayal, the violation. How many times had Willow changed or erased her memories? No, no, Tara hugged her arms around herself, she didn’t want to think about this right now. She didn’t want to feel like this anymore. She didn’t want to feel like that person that other people could just hurt and hurt. Her family, high school bullies, Willow… she’d been letting people walk all over her and take advantage of her timidity and shyness for too long. She didn’t want to feel like that timid and shy girl anymore.

As she sightlessly pored over the racks, brushing the edges of the hanging clothes, Tara paused, hand slapping against a jacket as she passed by. She remembered the feeling of hefting an ax, swinging it into a demon’s back. It made her feel strong and powerful. She thought about the portrayals she’d seen on TV, when she looked at newspapers and magazines at the grocery store, when she started going on the internet in high school and college. She wouldn’t be cutting her hair or getting a motorcycle, but she pulled the black leather jacket toward her and looked it over. It was in good condition and looked like it would fit. She pulled it off the hanger and walked over to the mirror, sliding her arms into the sleeves.

The girl in the mirror didn’t look like someone who gets pushed around, someone who gets teased and taunted, someone who loses her heart to the first girl who notices her. No, this girl looked like someone who would push back, who would stand up for herself, who could guard her heart from beguiling love. She could wear it on campus and not feel the need to run and hide when she saw Willow.

If the time came that Tara was ready to allow Willow back into her life, this girl in the black leather jacket would make sure it happened on her terms. Not on Willow’s terms, not willy-nilly with no boundaries or caution. Tara would be tough. No more getting hurt, no more heartbreak. This look would be her armor.


End file.
